Finishing and Beginning Well

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 8 of 8

Song of Solomon 8:6-14

October 26, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

Solidifying Your Marriage

8:6Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;

Acknowledge that God designed marriage for __________

è Never talk or joke about _______________

for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

Believe that God rewards _________________

è Avoid tempting _________________

It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 8:7Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Believe that true love has its _______________ in God

è _______________ yourself to God first

Preparing for Marriage

8:8We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister for the day she is spoken for?

8:9If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

8:10I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.

è Trust God’s ____________________ for marriage and sex

8:11Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon; he let out his vineyard to tenants. Each was to bring for its fruit a thousand shekels of silver. 8:12But my own vineyard is mine to give; the thousand shekels are for you, O Solomon, and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit.

è Put God __________, and ____________ Him with your love life

He speaks:

8:13You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice!

She speaks:

8:14Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains.

Cared for by God’s Love

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 7 of 8

Song of Solomon 7:10-8:4

October 19, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

“He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail-even numbering the hairs on your head!” Mt 10:30 (The Message)

God cares about…

whether you are getting _______________________ with your spouse

who your children are learning about the “_______ and the ________” from

whether your marriage is a “____________ place” for you

1. God wants you to get ________________________ with your spouse

“Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages…” So 7:11

“…Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom- there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover.” So 7:12-13

Principle: Plan ____________ that you are excited about that include your spouse’s __________________.

2. God wants ______ to teach your children about the “birds and the bees”

“If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother’s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. I would lead you and bring you to my mother’s house- she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates.” So 8:1-2

Resource: A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex by Kevin Leman and Kathy Bell

Tips for talking with your kids:

1.       Remember that sex is ___________ and from God

2.       Know what teens are already _________________ about

3.       Don’t assume your teen is ________________

4.       Know your own ______________

5.       Don’t hide your _____________

6.       Make it a ______________________

3. God wants you to feel safe and ________________ in your marriage

“I belong to my lover…” So 7:10a


Wives:
_____________ and __________________ your husband.

“…and his desire is for me.” So 7:10b

The Hebrew word for “desire” is “tâshuwqah”: “to stretch out after”


Husbands:
____________ your wife and make sure she is __________.

“His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” So 8:3-4

“Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat.” Luke 8:55

Reunited by Love

Reunited by Love

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 6 of 8

Song of Solomon 6:11-7:9, 2 Corinthians 5:15-18

October 12, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

Solomon and his wife experience a ______________

The Bible says that your biggest need for reunion is with _________

“This is the kind of love we are talking about-not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God1 John 4:10 (The Message)

The Biblical word for reunion with God is “____________________”

How people try to reunite themselves with God:

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According the Bible, how can you be reunited with God?

By beginning a relationship with ___________________

“And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ.”
2 Corinthians 5:18a (NLT)

THE RESULTS:

Jesus will radically change your ______________

“Christ died for all so that those who live would not continue to live for themselves. He died for them and was raised from the dead so that they would live for him.”
2 Corintians 5:15 (NCV)

Jesus will radically change your ________________

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

How do I begin a relationship with Jesus?

______________ that you cannot be reunited with God on your own

__________ Jesus to come into your heart and reunite you with God

____________ God to have every area of your life

Passion

Passion

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 5 of 8, Song of Solomon 5:2 – 6:10

October 5, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

ILLUSION: PASSION IN MARRIAGE JUST ________________

REALITY: PASSION GROWS WITH ____________________

He _______________ too much: Listen! My lover is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” So 5:2

She takes him for ________________: “I have taken off my robe- must I put it on again? I have washed my feet- must I soil them again?” So 5:3

IGNITING PASSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ____________________

“I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.” So 5:6

2. OWN YOUR ________________ IN THE PROBLEM

“My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening…I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.” So 5:4-5

“The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls!” So 5:7

Your assignment #1:

3. BEGIN SACRIFICING USING YOUR SPOUSE’S __________________

What’s your language?

o  Words of _________________________

o  Quality _______________

o  Receiving _______________

o  Acts of __________________

o  Physical ________________

His step: “Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; but my dove, my perfect one, is unique…” So 6:8-9a

Her step: “I am my lover’s and my lover is mine.” So 6:3

Your assignment #2:

4. RE-NEW YOUR _______________________ TO YOUR SPOUSE

“Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing…Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate.” So 6:5b-7

Your assignment #3:

“Who is this that appears like the dawn, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, majestic as the stars in procession?” So 6:10

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20

Your Words Have Power!

Your Words Have Power!

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 4 of 8, Song of Solomon 3:6 – 5:1

September 28, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

“With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on.” James 3:9-10 (The Message)

Becoming a Master Communicator with your Spouse

Wives, communicate _____________ and ______________ for your husband.

3:6Who is this coming up from the desert like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant?

3:7Look! It is Solomon’s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, 3:8all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his side, prepared for the terrors of the night.

3:9King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. 3:10Its posts he made of silver, its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior lovingly inlaid by the daughters of Jerusalem.

3:11Come out, you daughters of Zion, and look at King Solomon wearing the crown, the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, the day his heart rejoiced.

“I complain” 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10   “I respect”

Your assignment:

Husbands, communicate to your wife specific details about her _________.

4:1How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead.

4:2Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone.

4:3Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate.

4:4Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.

4:5Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.

4:6Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense.

4:7All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

4:8Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. Descend from the crest of Amana, from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon, from the lions’ dens and the mountain haunts of the leopards.

4:9You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.

“I overlook” 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10   “I notice”

Your assignment:

As a Result, You Will Experience…

________________ with your spouse

He speaks: 4:10How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

4:11Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

4:12You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 4:13Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, 4:14nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices. 4:15You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.

She speaks:4:16Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.

He speaks:5:1I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk

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God’s ___________________ in your relationship

God speaks: Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.

Growing in Love

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 3 of 8

September 21, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

Re-Building a Foundation for Your Marriage:

A Guide for Husbands

She speaks:

2:8Listen! My lover! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills.

1. Am I ____________________ my wife?

“For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them.” Ezekiel 34:11

2:9My lover is like a gazelle or a young stag. Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice.

2. Am I showing ______________ and _______________________?

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Philippians 2:6-7

2:10My lover spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.

3. Am I carving out ____________ with my wife?

“At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” Mark 5:30

2:11See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. 2:12Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. 2:13The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”

For those who are single: God has a first-class ______________ for you this season.

“There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NCV)

He speaks:

2:14My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

2:15Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

4. Am I seeking Godly help for the tough ______________ in our marriage?

” Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name…” Philippians 2:9

She speaks:

2:16My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. 2:17Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills.

3:1All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 3:2I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. 3:3The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” 3:4Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother’s house, to the room of the one who conceived me.

3:5Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Falling in Love

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 2 of 8

September 14, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

1:9I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh.

1:10Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.

1:11We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver.

Gentlemen:  ______________ your wives, even after marriage.

1:12While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance.

1:13My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.

1:14My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.

Gentlemen: When it comes to the relationship you have with the woman in your life, are you like _____________________?

1:15How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

1:16How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.

1:17The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.

Gentlemen: You have an obligation to participate in the ____________ of your ___________________.

2:1I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.

2:2Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.

His Bride’s Response:

2:3Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade,

Gentlemen: Are you _______________ for the woman in your life?

and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

To the couple: There is nothing __________ about a husband and wife being together.

2:4He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.

Gentlemen: Is the banner you hold in public for her one of __________?

2:5Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

Ladies: Gentlemen would love to ________________ a wife like this.

Gentlemen: Come into the bedroom with an attitude of ____________, not dominance.

2:6His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.

Ladies: Every husband would love to know what it is you ____________.

2:7Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

If you’re not married, it’s not the ________________ for this type of intimacy.

Waiting on Love

Sermon Series: “Sacred Romance” – 1 of 8

September 7, 2008

Pastor John Fanous

1:1Solomon’s Song of Songs.

1:2Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth

Ladies: Nothing wrong with looking forward to passionately ____________ your husband.

– for your love is more delightful than wine.

1:3Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

Bonus tip for Gentleman: Watch the way you _________________.

your name is like perfume poured out.

Gentlemen: If you want to be a good lover, you have to have good ________________.

No wonder the maidens love you!

Ladies (single): Are other women _________________ in your potential husband?

1:4Take me away with you-let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers.

We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine.

How right they are to adore you!

To the couple: Give your friends __________________ to give their blessing.

1:5Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon.

Gentlemen: The standard of beauty is _____________________.

1:6Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards;

Ladies: Women who are ________________ do not make good wives.

my own vineyard I have neglected.

Ladies: Focus on your ________________________.

1:7Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday.

Ladies (single): It’s okay to put yourself in a place where you can ______ a man you’re interested in.

Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?

Ladies: Do not play the part of a ______________________.

1:8If you do not know, most beautiful of women,

Gentlemen: Remind your wife that she is __________________.

follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds.

To the couple: For a healthy marriage, you will need a time of complete _____________________.

To do this week:

Write a ___________________________________.